Det amerikanske presidentvalget i 2008 ble historisk når de valgte sin første fargede president. Nå, 4 år etter er ikke det store spørsmålet om det blir en hvit eller en farget president, men heller en balansert, organisert og nyansert kandidat mot en komplett idiot.

Ja, jeg kalte Mitt Romney en komplett idiot. Bak den falske spraytanen og tannblekningen finnes det nemlig en person. En person som har, i mine øyne, gravd sin egen grav ved flere anledninger. Alikevel mener selvutnevnte eksperter at det fortsatt er en jevn oppslutning. Dette får meg til å undre på hva brorparten av Amerikanere faktisk tenker med. Det er greit at man støtter et politisk parti igjennom tykt og tynt, men da er vi tilbake til det samme utsagnet “Hvis din venn hopper fra en bro…”

Hvorfor synes jeg Mitt Romney er en ignorant tilbakestående analfabet og den største av to onder? Jo, han er Mormon. Jeg dømmer vanligvis ikke folk utifra deres valg av religion, men så er Mormoner i mine øyne ikke noe annet enn en gjeng lettlurte bygdetullinger. “The book of Mormons” som Mormoner følger ble skrevet av Joseph Smith og her følger et lite utdrag fra Wikipedia:

“The Book of Mormon is a sacred text of the Latter Day Saint movement that adherents believe contains writings of ancient prophets who lived on the American continent from approximately 2200 BC to AD 421.[1][2] It was first published in March 1830 by Joseph Smith as The Book of Mormon: An Account Written by the Hand of Mormon upon Plates Taken from the Plates of Nephi.[3]

According to Smith’s account, and also according to the book’s narrative, the Book of Mormon was originally written in otherwise unknown characters referred to as “reformed Egyptian” [4] engraved on golden plates. Smith claimed that the last prophet to contribute to the book, a man named Moroni, buried it in a hill in present-day New York and then returned to earth in 1827 as an angel,[5] revealing the location of the book to Smith and instructing him to translate and disseminate it as evidence of the restoration of Christ’s true church in the latter days.”

Nå har jeg også lest mye om Mormoner generelt. De tror at Jesus levde i Amerika og viste seg for sine følgere og la igjen gullplater så folk kunne følge hans ord i generasjoner som kom. Det var ikke før rundt 1827 disse ble funnet av Joseph Smith etter veiledelse av en tidligere profet og nå engel, Moroni. Disse tekstene valgte han å oversette alene på sitt rom, på plater som han leste ut av en hatt med spesialbriller lagd av stein.

Virkelig? Mormons, Engelen Moroni? Jeg tror faktisk Joseph Smith var før sin tid og skjønte at det var mye penger å tjene på “morons” … Jeg mener “Mormons” ..

“The story of the golden plates consists of how, according to Joseph Smith, Jr. and his contemporaries, the plates were found, received from the angel Moroni, translated, and returned to the angel prior to the publication of the Book of Mormon. Joseph Smith is the only source for a great deal of the story because much of it occurred at times when he was the only human witness“

Alikevel velger de å tro på at disse “fantastiske” historiene har grobrunn i virkeligheten. Jeg spyr.

Mitt Romney er en av de menneskene i verden som tror på dette.  Jeg kunne skrevet lange innlegg om hva Mormoner tror på, men velger heller å fokusere på den sosialt ignorante Romney. Det forundrer meg ikke at han tror på det, når han kommer med gullkorn som dette:

 ”When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.” –Mitt Romney

Seriøst, Romney? Og denne mannen mente republikanerne at var mest egnet til å representere deres parti. Faktisk så mye at den eneste reelle kandidaten fra republikanerne ble helt overskygget, nemlig Ron Paul.

 ”Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings, my friend.” —Mitt Romney

Jeg kan sitte her og komme med helt latterlige utsagn fra denne presidentkandidaten, men grunnet tette avløp i vasken, fulle spybøtter og dårlig hygiene generelt velger jeg derfor å avslutte med nok en “instant classic quote” og en filmsnutt fra personen som har muligheten til å bli overhodet for verdens suverene supermakt: 

“I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” –Mitt Romney

Yes Romney, that´s the ´MERICA you love!

Nå har jo Amerikanerne valgt George W. Bush Junior og Ronald Reagan tidligere, så man kan aldri si aldri.

Se og le! Mitt Romney på sitt “beste” (Linken fører til youtube og er ikke skadelig.)

Jeg kom til verden en varm Junidag, 1989. Helt siden min fødsel har jeg møtt motgang. Min mor måtte ta keisersnitt da navlestrengen hadde surret seg rundt min hals  7 ganger. Om ikke det var nok, så vokste jeg opp på Stovner i Groruddalen mine første 3 år, før vi flyttet til en liten leilighet på Grorud, min mor og jeg.

I følgende år var hverdagen for det meste preget av online-spilling i form av Counter-Strike og diverse tidsforedrivende spill. Siden jeg også hadde et stort behov for å være sosial spilte jeg fotball og innebandy så mye jeg kunne, men ble aldri noe stort ut av det.

På skolen kan det sies at jeg var mindre enn motivert. Etter å ha gått ut fra 10-klasse med ganske bra karakterer valgte jeg å starte på Stovner Videregående Skole, noe som i for seg var et godt valg. Veldig bra miljø og lærere, problemet var bare min egen innstilling. Siden jeg valgte å hoppe av VGS i siste halvdel av 3. året så har livet mitt vært en liten karusell. På godt og vondt.

Selvom jeg ikke var fullt utdannet så var jeg i full jobb. Jeg jobbet som bartender på TGI Fridays, Havana Club, Tempest Sports bar å slike steder i helger og holdt en fulltidsjobb i hverdagene på Teknikmagasinet. Men etter 1 år fant jeg fort ut at dette ikke var noe for meg, så jeg flyttet til KINA. Planen var å være der i 3 måneder, men det ble fort et halvannet år.

Nå har jeg endelig klart å komme meg tilbake til vårt vakre land Norge og håper i den anledning at jeg kan underholde, plage og spre glede.

Hva jeg skal skrive om i bloggen har jeg ikke helt bestemt meg for, men jeg kan garantere at det vil bli mye fart og moro. Forhåpentligvis kommer jeg ikke til å støte mange, men siden jeg er den jeg er så er muligheten der. Har du noen forslag eller innspill å komme med? Kontakt meg på Groenmo@KillerbunnyTV.com eller skriv i kommentarfeltet under.

Swedish black metal fiends, DARK FUNERAL – panoramic view of the venue

If you weren’t there, you ought to know that it was a blast. The pit at the front was so insane that I got pushed backwards and I twatted this guy in the face with the back of my skull. He was sitting down by the tables at the side of the venue and he looked like he’d already had a hard life. Though I apologised, he shooed me off with his hand as if to say ‘fuck you, bitch, no apology needed. I chew glass for breakfast.’ So. Yeah…

MORBID ANGEL’s Thor Anders Myhren – the mighty ginger axeman.

At the end of the show, I sneaked backstage to say hi to MORBID ANGEL guitarist, Thor Anders Myhren who keeps reminding me that he would not be in the band had it not been for my determination to have him audition for the death metal legends back in 2007. No, darling. You have an amazing talent and I just motivated you to go through the process. Perhaps…it takes two to tango?

DARK FUNERAL, GRAVE and some other band supported. As I walked down to the venue, my first sentence to my friend Daniel was:-”What’s this fucking noise?” “I think DARK FUNERAL are supporting,” he replied. Oh god, yes, of course, DARK FUNERAL are usually cool on stage, but what was wrong with the vocalist, he was half the size of the guy I saw perform with them about three years ago. I guess Caligula Whatsit left the band? Or he lost a shitload of weight. Oh and I missed GRAVE. Boo hoo.

On an upbeat note, Norwegian black metal fan and listener of The Rock Show, Wendy Davenschot has a couple of super cute pugs who enjoy listening to music. Wendy explained to me a few weeks ago that when she and her pugs listen to The Rock Show and some Norwegian black metal tune blasts out, her two pugs start ‘singing’ to it. I asked her to film them and here’s the result:

Seloy the pug obviously loves doing backing vocals to Norwegian Viking metal band, KAMPFAR while his buddy just loves to shake his booty. Amazing.

Get ready for a bunch of cool tunes, some swearing and a fun chat with PARADISE LOST guitarist Aaron Aidy in next week’s Rock Show…just a gentle reminder.

Miss Pee xx

Anders and Jonas Björler (left) menacingly planning their next butt-fuck. Careful, Pete (centre), they’re behind you…

‘Slut Candle’ by Peter Dolving. You can’t drink a cup of tea like that, love. Take the ball gag out, first.

PARADISE LOST guitarist Aaron Aidy gives us the gossip on the band’s recent US tour featuring Devin Townsend and Katatonia and why they did not headline this US tour. “Funnily enough, the guys in KATATONIA said the same thing,” joked Aidy.
PARADISE LOST – slightly more jovial these days.

A bunch of hairy Swedes headlined the NYC show

Plus, more news on the new STONE SOUR and COHEED AND CAMBRIA‘s upcoming albums. Or at least Part I of II for both bands who obviously have had a surplus of creativity leading up to the recording of their new releases…

And more tour news from the US through to Europe and beyond. Get your global fix on The Rock Show on KILLER BUNNY TV every Wednesday from 6pm (CET).

CLICK ON THIS LINK TO LISTEN TO THIS WEEK’S ROCK SHOW.

“MACHINE HEAD have permanently been the metal band the is most likely to make the leap to the big time,” McIver tells me. “They might not be the biggest band in the world, but they are fighters. And they have withstood a career with obstacles, difficulties and hindrances that would leave most bands weeping in the corner, all broken up. But they kept going!”

It’s available on Amazon right now, bitches.

“I wanted to emphasize the fact that someone was involved in the book who was in the band,” McIver illustrates about ex-drummer Chris Kontos’ who provided the book’s Foreword. “‘Cause this is a book that I have put together from my own interaction with the band over many years. I have interview all those guys several times over the years…”

Incidentally, both McIver and TURBO Tony (the Duke of Nothing) make the most of our non-censorship rule in today’s show. Fuck national radio where you can’t say natural, genuine words like “cunt”.

In addition, expect a grand mixture of diverse music – COHEED AND CAMBRIA, TURBONEGRO, PARADISE LOST, NIGHTWISH and more, MACHINE HEAD included. Obviously.

Plus, weird shit with related iconoclastic commentary from someone who’s so cocky she’s probably growing one under that skirt.

Tune into The Rock Show today from 6pm CET on Killer Bunny TV’s radio channel.

Miss Pee

LISTEN TO THIS SHOW BY CLICKING THIS LINK.

Illegal downloading has slowly been bringing the music industry to its knees. “I have chosen to form a band in, probably, what is the hardest time to form a band and get anywhere,” Sarah laments. “Because no-one has money, the amount of illegal downloading going on and shutting down companies, fucking bands over…but with this TRISTANIA tour, we were very lucky to be invited on as main support.”

Sarah’s alternative merch idea may revolutionise the way bands approach what has become their main source of income these days. “I am going to sell my knickers. I have been storing a year’s worth of used knickers.” SARAH JEZEBEL DEVA‘s band will embark on a European tour as main support toTRISTANIA from September 14th.

Plus, I conduct a thorough investigation into daft US sex laws – oral sex is deemed illegal in 17 states over here and I have happened to have met a few cocksuckers along the way. So, you do the maths.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin, for example, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun while his female partner is having an orgasm. So, some local Sheriff’s office and Town Hall have some explaining to do.

In addition, new music by COHEED AND CAMBRIA, STONE SOUR and CIRCA SURVIVE, amongst others…

All in tonight’s Rock Show - from 6pm CET on Killer Bunny TV’s radio channel…

Miss Pee
Today’s Rock Show’s complete playlist:

Opening / closing titles: Offernatt, KVELERTAK, Kvelertak
You Give Me Worms, TURBONEGRO, Sexual Harrassment
Domino: The Destitute, COHEED AND CAMBRIA, The Afterman: Ascension
Absolute Zero, STONE SOUR, House of Gold and Bones, Part I
The 2nd Law: Unsustainable, MUSE, The 2nd Law
Gravemakers and Gunslingers, COHEED AND CAMBRIA, The Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness
An Honourable Reign, BURY TOMORROW, The Union Of Crowns
Birth of the Economic Hit Man, CIRCA SURVIVE, Violent Waves
Nymphetamine (the Sarah Jezebel Fix), CRADLE OF FILTH, Nymphetamine CD2
Lies Define Us, SARAH JEZEBEL DEVA, Malediction EP
This Is My Curse, SARAH JEZEBEL DEVA, Malediction EP
Stay, CRADLE OF FILTH, Harder, Darker, Faster, Thornography Deluxe (SHAKESPEARE’S SISTER cover)
No Ghost, THE HAUNTED, Unseen

Listen to this show by clicking this link.

While the whole of the metal community chooses to put the spotlight on MEGADETH‘s Dave Mustaine for stating opinions that do not concord with the majority (of sheep), this Biatch is concentrating on musical matters. For once.

Attending the Trespass America Tour on Saturday inspired me to look inside and find out exactly what was left, in terms of passion for music. I hardly take such a passionate stand when it comes to bands ’cause I really don’t give a fuck, in general, whether members come and go, whether bands split or reunite. Shit happens in life. But then, there is always the exception…

The one band that used to keep me entertained on a variety of levels was KILLSWITCH ENGAGE. I loved them like a sickness and its cure. The odd, playful chemistry between guitarist Adam D, vocalist Howard Jones and the audience was a bonus to their musically dexterous live performance. For obvious reasons, it was just not present last weekend. Jones’s cavernous growls, slightly awkward slouching and deep chortles were replaced by a straight singing Leach who looked and sounded like the quintessential metal vocalist.

You’d have to forgive me, therefore, if I might not remember the exact title ofKILLSWITCH ENGAGE‘s second album. I must have listened to it three times since 2002. That would include once on Sunday after the live show the previous night to see whether I could get charmed by Jesse’s vocal style. Negative. It is not personal. As in, I have nothing against Leach. He’s a very dynamic frontman with a great vocal range. And he’s a cute kid. I simply prefer Jones’s all round performance. Not many black guys fronting bands with such an outstanding voice within this genre as well. Quirky and highly alluring. It’s obvious that KILLSWITCH ENGAGE is not just about the vocalist. The rest of the boys are outstanding performers and song-writers in their own right. And Adam D’s dorky stage presence, coupled with his politically incorrect statements (“Has anyone noticed that our singer is white now?”) still added that extra value to a highly energetic live show. But I wonder whether I would jump for joy (like I used to) next time I hear KILLSWITCH ENGAGE are doing another tour. Time will tell…

Plus, an update on and a handful of tunes by BARONESS, PERIPHERY, SOLSTAFIRand more.

Tune in today from 6pm CET on here, Killer Bunny TV’s radio channel.

Miss Pee

Here’s the complete playlist:

Ocean Size – JANE’S ADDICTION – Nothing’s Shocking
Take My Bones Away – BARONESS – Yellow And Green
Make Total Destruction – PERIPHERY – Periphery II: This Time It’s Personal
Obfuscation – BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME – The Great Misdirect
Scraping The Walls – GOD FORBID – Equilibrium
Numbered Days – KILLSWITCH ENGAGE – Alive Or Just Breathing
The Rose Of Sharyn – KILLSWITCH ENGAGE – The End Of Heartache
Lies Define Us – SARAH JEZEBEL DEVA – Malediction (EP)
Fjara – SOLTAFIR – Svartir Sandar
Giants – ENSLAVED – Axioma Ethica Odini

Not only did I get to see scorching performances by the likes of GOD FORBID andTRIVIUM, but I also witnessed the return of Jesse Leach to one of my favourite bands of the last 10 years, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE. Tune into The Rock Show this Wednesday from 6pm to hear more about Jesse’s return and Adam D’s latest on stage blunders…

Right after the KILLSWITCH ENGAGE set, I was walking towards the exit to have a cigarette and find Denise, but some security guy stopped me to ask me to leave because they needed to clear the walk-way as headliners FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH were about to get on stage. Since I had no intention to watch the show, one of the two KSEmanagers, Kenny came to the rescue and invited me into the band’s dressing room. How purrfect. It was rather compact but empty aside a couple of friends and band members. Fleurette and I sat on the couch and a little later, Adam D came over to introduce himself. He mentioned that at the Boston show, he screamed to the audience:-”Has anyone noticed that our singer is white now?” The crowd, apparently, went nuts so he got all self-conscious. “Nooooo, I didn’t mean it like that!!” Adam D = too adorable for words. It’s Monday now and I am still laughing about that.

And on top of all that sonic abundance, backstage I also met a girl who makes evil cakes. I have not sampled them yet, but they look amazing. Here are a couple she’s chosen to share:

If you are interested in ordering one before the Slaytanicakes.com is back live, email me at patrizia@killerbunnytv.com and I’ll make sure Jessa, the cake artist gets your request.

More details about this week’s Rock Show tomorrow…from 6pm (CET) onto eternity.

Miss Pee

American sludge metal band, BARONESS were in a serious bus accident near Bath, England a few hours ago.

Nine of them (band and crew) were hospitalised though they are currently recovering. The rest of the UK tour has been cancelled. BARONESS were supposed to perform at the House of Vans Fest in Brooklyn on August 29th supporting TURBONEGRO. I assume that they will be forced to cancel that show, too…

But for every horrible story, there is a daft one to alleviate the mood. So, here’s mine.

It was March 2009 and I had just moved to New York, after six years in Norway. I was supposed to go on a date with this 18-year-old guy who was meant to come pick me up at 9pm. At 9:15pm, he’d not turned up or texted me to say he’d be a bit late, so I called him.

“Hello?” A calm voice on the other end of the phone answered.

“Wow,” I thought. “The prick has no shame.”

“Where are you?!” I enquired sternly. Lateness infuriates me like very little else can.

“Home?” He claimed politely with a hint of fastidiousness, like I’d just interrupted him from knitting a sweater.

“WHAT?!? You were supposed to be here 10 minutes ago!! Did you forget about tonight??!” I assumed that any young boy might suffer from last minute jitters about going on a…”date” with an older woman. But there was no way I’d let him get away with shit lightly.

“Was I? Where?” He enquired politely, again. As if, now, the possibility that he might have forgotten about meeting someone that night could have been real.

I paused wondering what to do next – should I tell him to go fuck himself and put the phone down in my usual zero tolerance attitude?

But I got a sudden hunch to check my phone. To my horror, I realised that I’d dialled “John Baizley” instead of “John C…..k”. Erm.

“You know what, I dialled the wrong John.” Between a scream, a chuckle and a chortle, I apologised. What a twat, giving shit to the vocalist of a band I’d never even met for not picking me up on time. What next, would I be berating him for being over 25?

“Sure, no problem,” he quipped. “But who is this?” He finally wondered.

I introduced myself and explained that I was waiting for a guy who was supposed to come over to pick me up 15mins earlier. And said guy’s name was just below his on my mobile phone list. Considering that I’d been quite stern with him a few minutes earlier, Baizley was graceful about it. Not even five minutes later my “date” turned up. Bless.

At that time, I’d not realised that the minimum drinking age in the US was 21 so, going to a bar with an 18yo boy was out of the question. I’d been given two reasons for a scream, chuckle and chortle within half hour that night. Cinema, then. But I’m digressing…

Best wishes to the boys in BARONESS and their crew for a speedy recovery.

More details on the actual bus crash here.

Miss Pee